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admin2024-01-19 14:15:112024-01-19 16:31:38Distorted Playground / Jaestudios“Manual for dying” is a title that immediately suggests a philosophy or a personal guide. What does this album teach you about life, creativity, and survival? How do the themes you explore here connect to your experiences over the last three years?
The last three years have been a split between relentless touring or constant baby stuff….being pregnant I toured and was tired…and then after the birth of the baby, I was up super early and with him all day except for the naps…and then when we did the tours, we luckily had grandma…but this next USA tour we are taking Winter on the road cuz i missed him too much lol! One definitely needs a little help if you want to keep making art while having a baby guy! I have to plan my alone time a lot more now, but being organized in order to create the creative caos has always been my thing anyways so… ya…just adds to the delightful beauty of decay and all that which we reference in the album thematically.
Each track is its own little art jewel vignette that was handcrafted in between breastfeeding and naps! Through this creation of life and revisualization of my own time (now in relation to this new situation), I realize (even more than before) that dying is basically the same as living, you can’t explain either, you just feel it. As I look back (and forward), I try to exist without society’s framework, without the rules everyone seems to follow out there about what it means to be an artist or a woman (especially a woman with a child, over thirty). All the rules I see for an artist mother over thirty I am SUPER NOT INTO! I am doing my one fucking thing…even with this new fucking thing… I’m trying to keep organized to be a mother but I will always let go of the things that will tie me down or bury me in the mundane nothingness of the herd. I don’t need the herd to raise my baby or my career.
Many of your songs explore control, desire, and destruction. Why are you drawn to these themes, and how do you decide which personal experiences become lyrical material?
Society loves its bread and games (bread and circuses/ panem et circenses)! The human world rejoices in abuse, sometimes even celebrates being the victim. I find a sick joy singing into the face of that hypocrisy. Life is a struggle, so ya know… fight back; have fun while you do it. Enjoy that old hero’s journey- every one has the chance to go on it, even though you might have been told somewhere that you aren’t worthy or strong enough. Sometimes, in my work, I purposefully contradict myself, showing how two rivalling ideas exist within the same breath…neither is the truth but they both exist and they both mean nothing…like when I sing “hurting- it doesn’t have to be a bad thing’ but then say that the relationship isn’t hurting enough to mean anything. Both of these issues are true …but what is the word ‘truth’ anyways? It’s a fat fuck is what it is. I’m not here to tell anyone the truth – but I won’t be lying to you through my work…that you can be sure of!
“Boy on a leash” evolved on stage before it became a studio track. What lessons did the live performances teach you about the song’s energy and structure?
Through the live shows, with the fledgling “Boy on A Leash” single, we (the drummer and I) pretty much beat it sensually over and over again until it cracked open.lol My voice got more aggressive, something i can’t really get in my home studio but it comes out easy like a dragon from the cave…on stage. So, it was great to realize what worked better live and then have the chance to record that feeling in the studio later. We even recorded some of our live shows in our European tour and added that in! We also stripped down the earlier version, making it harsher and more physical.
This is the first single from the manual for dying saga. Did you approach it as a standalone story, or as part of a larger narrative?
It’s both. It’s the door opening and also slamming in your face…on the beat! It is it’s own little story while also a broad archetype. The leash metaphor is pulled through everything, control and freedom at the same time. The pulling of the leash sets the tone for that club brutality that dominates the record (while also getting bitten at the ankles falling into fully icy metal or dancey aristocratic romance).




You often incorporate physical and intense experiences into your music. How do you translate extreme feelings or bodily states into music and visuals?
Instinctively, like your local gator or big cat, I go for the body not the brain. Scratching, sweating, screaming. Repetition, distortion, rhythm… are you afraid or are you in ecstasy? The visuals exude what I guess could be described as a violent beauty, ironic glamour, raw sexuality. When we perform, people have told us that they feel it becomes some sort of ritual…something personal for us and personal for them in a way that they can only describe as a release of fear and happiness at the same time. Maybe they feel what I felt when I created the song, and maybe I’m feeling it even more when it’s live…It’s different every time but hard no matter what. No one is leaving without feeling something.
“Pain is power” came from the experience of childbirth. How did that translate into songwriting?
Birth was one of my secret fears I suppose- the loss of my total solitude…the searing pain that could happen with the cramps and the parasite crawling out of my vagina. But no… as in everything, pain is not weakness. I might not agree with a lot of aspects of the US Navy but I love their saying, “pain is weakness leaving the body.” Living and becoming stronger means taking pain in, letting it move through you. Don’t deny it, ride it… into the sunset. It’s a beautiful thing!
Patriarchy confronts societal structures. is there a person, system, or cultural expectation you’ve been aiming at most recently?
Control itself….government, capitalism, gender roles, even the music industry. I’m not into obedience unless it’s sex. I make my own rules, I don’t trust society -I hate how much I am forced to use it to survive monetarily so at least through my art, I can scream at it a little- show them I’m not taking the whip strokes laying down- i’m standing up and being sexy while they whip me hahahaha. Yes, I use irony, provocation, I’m not preaching. But I do hate how we normalize obedience, how we package it, wait in line for it, consume it like water. I like my water filtered and I will not wait in one of those lines to be the first to take the stupid treats! You can get the stupid treat the very next day, without waiting in line- what is up with that mentality? Ugh, people love it. They just love being slaves- it makes me want to perform just typing this.
You worked with twin shadow on multiple tracks. What did they bring to your sound?
George brought the pop edge without sanding down the industrial. He encouraged us to cut out the noise so every hit landed. We were all swimming out together into the deep water… club anthems mixed with cinematic soundscapes, sassy nods to pop while staying true always to the darkness of our grimy souls. It’s like nin and darkthrone and kylie minogue all stitched onto a dying angel singing one last time before falling into the dark.
The line between vulnerability and provocation seems intentional in your work. how do you decide what is safe, what is provocative, and what is necessary?
I don’t think about “safe”. Safe is for driving or baby proofing the house. If it feels too clean it probably needs to get pushed harder. Provocation matters if it shows something real about intimacy or power. Vulnerability is the deepest provocation, once you flay it, it’s really hard to sew the skin back on- and why would you want to.
What frightens you right now, and how does that fear shape the music or imagery on manual for dying?
I’m afraid of submitting to rules, trends, pretending darkness isn’t there. I’m afraid of denying death, because denial wastes your time. And Time is…. oof.
This album has been almost three years in the making. How has creating it changed the way you see yourself, society, or the world?
It’s a reckoning with mortality… It was parenthood and creativity existing together for the first time in my life. My first creative project with this new aspect of life. Musically, we wandered from the goth and darkwave thing and into pop and industrial dance… but ya know, of course we kept the black core. We mixed it with the light load and it got clean even with the colors leaking.


Patriarchy Live at WGT 2025Pain is Power / Patriarchy
Credits:
Artist: Patriarchy / @_patriarchy_
Interview: Irina Klisarova / @its.irka.bitch
Press pics: Courtesy of the artist
Live pics: Marco Giuliano / @marcogiulianoph




